How to be a-ninja-and other Details:Redux
by Dark Guard Productions
Summary: Hmm... how should we put this? I suppose I can go into how we both got trapped in a child's body, or how we hate almost everyone in the village. Or we could just say something wise about being a ninja. Guess I will only say one thing... D rank missions equal easy money!: A story about not Naruto and how he deals with the elemental nations shenanigans. Supposed to be fun, non SI/OC


**Slayer: Alright here we go again. Thankfully this hasn't had too many chapters so it'll be easier to fix up.**

**Kurama: Not that there was much to fix up. After all this story is just for fun.**

**Shadow: True enough… But this was also the story that had corrupted BDWC-Kiba and that darn Modaga.**

**Slayer: Eh… not too important. In any case there really isn't much to say. Except that while there will be serious parts to this story. One shouldn't take it too seriously.**

**Hermit: Especially since I really don't care for all that fancy smancy stuff.**

**Kurama: Can we blow up the leaf?**

**Hermit: You asked that last time… And I will once again have to say no… at least for now.**

**Kurama: Ahh…..**

**Shadow: Okay… still the same I see… in which case how about you start us off again Mr. Fuzzball **

**Kurama: I am not a Fuzzball! But sure… Now we here at the Dark Guard productions own nothing but OC's and reality building concepts. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. Now without further ado…**

**Everyone: Here's the story!**

Hello= Regular talk

**[Hello]= Kurama out loud**

**{Hello}= Kurama's thoughts**

**(Hello)= Other Biju**

'_Hello'__Hermit talking to Biju with thoughts_

_Hello= Hermits Thoughts_

"**[Hello]**"= Kurama and Hermit talking

(J/N)= Judan Notes

(S/N)= Slayer notes

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

Introduction

A man with long white hair wearing a blue outfit with a green vest one was currently ranting to me. He also had a blue bandana with a silver plate attached to it. On the plate was a leaf with swirl making up its body. He was saying something about me being the Kyuubi… or something like that.

**[You know I find that rather offensive…]** I couldn't help but to agree with the one who spoke.

'_Yeah I know, I mean I'm not nearly as big as you are, or as strong for that matter. Truly I'm like a toothpick to you.'_

**[So true…]** Shaking my head I looked back at the ranting man, otherwise known as Mizuki. A chunin of the ninja village I live in. An annoying person to behold indeed… really the man just couldn't shut up! As I looked at him in disgust I came to a realization!

'_Ah… that's right! Our audience doesn't know what's going on right now do they?'_

**[No… I don't believe they do…]** Thinking quickly I snapped my fingers freezing the entire area in time before looking towards you.

"Sorry about that, it's been a while since I've done something like this."

**[Or… ever done it for that matter…]**

I nodded my head in agreement before continuing to talk to you. "Yes that is true Kurama, but what else do you expect? Still I believe introductions are in order… first off my name is not Naruto…" I made a small face before continuing. "Or well it is to everyone else, but that doesn't mean it is. But it's not like I can go around telling people that I somehow possessed their blonde haired jinchuriki… Or at least I think I am… My memories a bit hazy about that actually... hm… Still you may call me Hermit since my real name was lost in the wind."

**[Or in that empty crevice you call a brain.]** I couldn't help but sigh at my partners cruel words.

"Yes Kurama… my empty crevice…" I paused for a second coming up with something before speaking again. "You know what… I think this'll go must smoother if they could see you as well." Saying that I snapped my fingers, there was a large puff of smoke covering not only me but the whole area. When it cleared I could now be seen sitting on the head of a giant red-orange fox. He was smiling with sharp white teeth, and had nine tails flailing behind him. He also had rabbit like ears on his head, and humanish type paws. His ears and tails were also tipped in black along with his lips.

"Well folks this is the giant furball sealed in my guts... Or at least Naruto's… Still this is Kurama the nine tailed fox, and my partner for most things in life." Kurama grunted before speaking.

**[Yes and I'm sure all of you are wondering… just how all of this happened right? Well it's a bit of a story… but you might as well sit down and listen to it. After all it's not like we usually break the forth wall.]**

I quickly interjected once he was done. "Not that we know what such a wall is… Ahem… Now why don't you just turn to the screen right behind us, otherwise known as the background of the scene you're currently looking at." After I was done speaking I once again snapped my fingers, before a new picture appeared on the background and everything around it turned dark.

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

When I first began to regain consciousness I felt strange, as if I was floating on water. This is something I don't think most people would expect to be feeling… after they died. Yes I am dead… or at least supposed to be. No don't pity me… that's the last thing I need; I mean people die all the time right? Right? Ahem… well still I'm dead, as such at this moment I'm not supposed to be feeling anything. Or maybe I just happened to be sent into the afterlife. This could mean two things, one I'm in hell… not a very happy prospect. Or secondly I'm in heaven and am floating on a lake, while my dear dead friends and family wait for me to awake.

Really there was only one way to find out. So forcing my eyes open I looked around only to be…

"This is disappointing… I mean if this is what hell is like than I'm in for a pretty boring eternity." Based on what I could see I was in some kind of… sewer. Not just any kind of sewer but a stone sewer with rusted pipes running along the top, with a few running down the walls. Looking down I could see the water I was lying down in. "Eww… great just what I needed." Hey don't judge me… sewer water isn't the cleanest thing.

So deciding that standing around doing nothing wasn't very productive. I got up and just started walking forward in hopes that I'd see something eventually. As I walked I tried to remember how I got here. Only to find that I couldn't remember how I died, or even why I thought I was dead to begin with. I just kind of had a feeling that I was dead.

Not exactly the greatest feeling to have I can assure you. All I had left was a feeling of lose. As if I had been bested at something, bested at something very important, something that I felt would come back to haunt me one day. Also not sure how I knew that, but for some reason I just had a feeling… As I pondered on my new situation I eventually made it to a large open room. It was a fairly tall room, at least three hundred yards up. It was also at least six hundred yards wide. But the thing the really got my attention was a giant gate made out of rusty bars. It had two doors that were closed together, with what looked like a large piece of tape keeping them that way.

The tape also had something written on it; unfortunately it looked like it was in Japanese. Not a language I'm intimate with. The languages I was closed to are English, partial French, and Latin. Which is funny since it's a dead language but I thought it'd be fun to learn. But now at this time I wished that I'd learn Japanese instead. Thankfully the bars looked wide enough for me to pass through. So I shrugged my shoulders and made my way forward.

Now imagine my surprise when I saw a giant nine tailed fox thrashing about in rage.

**[Curse you filthy humans! When I break out of here I'll kill you all! Especially you Madara!] **Yeah he didn't sound the happiest, so being the obviously kind person that I was I spoke to him.

"Hey what seems to be the problem?" Not realizing that someone was talking to him in his anger he answered me.

**[I was sealed away again! First I was controlled by the detestable Madara and that filthy sharingan of his. But then I was sealed away again, but not just in anything… but a freaking Kit! A new born child! What kind of madness is this?!]** I couldn't help but agree with him that did sound pretty bad, so I gave my condolences.

"I'm sorry to hear about that man, I also doubt this cage is helping matters. Nor this freaking sewer system, it isn't the greatest place to live." The fox stopped thrashing around before sighing.

**[Yeah but it beats being tied… to a… rock….]** He finally realized he was talking to someone this whole time. He (I assumed it was a he at least) robotically turned around to face me. I on the other hand just waved at him while smiling.

"Hi!~" He just stared at me taking in my appearance. I had brown hair, with tan skin. My eyes were a bright blue, and I had a slightly rugged face. I also had a nice athletes build, and was wearing black slacks, and black boots. I was also wearing a grey high collared sweater.

Then after a few more moments of staring he spoke. **[This is an unexpected circumstance...]** There was another pause for a long time before he started screaming. **[What in the name of my father is going on! Were you sealed in here to? No that's not possible you'd be over here on this side of the seal… But that doesn't explain how a fully grown human is in the mind of a newborn. Maybe one of those blasted Yamanka's? No they have blonde hair…]**

It was at this time that I decided to interject. "As much fun as it is watching you as you try to guess who I am… perhaps it'd be easier just to… you know talk to me? I mean I'm kind of in a similar situation as you here." The fox looked at me before sighing and nodding his head.

He then spoke with reluctance. **[I suppose you are correct… even if you **_**are**_** a human we're still stuck in here. So tell my who… your hair is turning white…] **Blinking in surprise I reached for my head in panic, before looking at my reflection in the sewer water. And sure enough what he said was true… my hair was now snow white. Now it was my turn to freak out.

"What in Xilos' name is going on! My hair was brown… now it's white! Could it be a side effect from being in here? No then the fox would have white fur… actually I think he'd look cool in white… no stop getting distracted!" I continued on with this until Mt. Fluffy yelled at me.

**[Get it together! We'll figure out what's going on later! For now let's just talk about why we're both in here.] **Looking at the giant fox I sighed but nodded my head. Thinking I started first.

"Well first off thanks for snapping me out of that. Second my names… uh…" I scrunched up my face trying to remember while the fox looked at me confused before speaking.

**[Yes… your name is what?]** Gripping my head in slight pain, I tried as hard as I could to remember. After a while only a single word came to mind. So with a chuckle I finally answered the question.

"Sorry but I can't remember… but think I was a hermit maybe? So for now just call me Hermit, it was the only thing that came to mind." He nodded his great head while looking at me skeptically. Shaking my own I continued forward. "Now as I was saying I'm not exactly sure how I'm here, only that I know I'm supposed to be dead. But judging by the look of this place, and the way you said seal… well I guess that's still a possibility."

He nodded his great head before speaking. **[Well my name is Kurama, now I usually don't give my name out. But I believe this situation warrants it. Anyway about you being dead… that's a good possibility actually. You see I was sealed in here by the use of the shikifuin. A seal that calls upon the Shinigami to seal another away, at the cost of the user's life. So it is possible that there was a slight error and you ended up in here. That would also explain why I can't…] **His eyes widened as he realized something.

Seeing his face I couldn't help but question him. "You can't, you can't what? Come on spit it out man!" Shaking his head he spoke.

**[First don't tell me what to do. Secondly I can't feel the soul of the one originally inhabiting this body. However I do feel as though you're the one in control.] **At his words we both blinked as we realized the implications of his words… then we did something at the same time.

"**[AHHHHHHH!]**" Yep we freaked out because currently I was a spirit inhabiting the body of a newborn. With Kurama as a passenger along for the ride…It was going to be a very long first few years… little did I know how long…

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

_**Seven years later**_

You know waking up in my crummy apartment I couldn't help but think back to that time seven years ago.

'_Man was I right about that being a long time… I mean seriously! I think I've been traumatized for life! I mean breast feeding? I'm a grown man for Kami's sake!'_ For the first five years of my life I was left in the hands of kind care taker. One who didn't think I was the reincarnation of a giant demon fox. She had lost her own family in Kurama's "attack". But unfortunately she died two years ago thanks to a severe case of whooping cough. The poor woman literally coughed out a lung… right in front of me too…

Kurama snorted before speaking. **[You think you had it bad? I'm a freaking giant fox Hermit, and because of this faulty seal allowing me to see, and hear everything you do… I've learned more about the human body than I've ever wanted to. Plus the whooping cough thing? Only a fragile human would die from something like that!]**

I had to concede to his point but I had one final thing to say. _'Yeah… but at least we now know the best way to break a human body at least!~ Can't survive without lungs after all.' _

**[Hmm… I once again have to agree to your point. But still it's time to wake up and go to that pathetic place they call an academy.]** I sighed but agreed with him. Now it wasn't as if I had anything against the academy building itself… no I had everything against both students and teachers… I mean seriously?! All but one of the teachers hated my guts thanks to Mister Fuzzy. It's not even his or my fault! Plus don't get me started on how much I hate it when people call me Naruto Uzumaki! I'm Hermit darn it!

Okay sorry about that little rant. Let me explain a bit… Now over the course of these last seven years I've learned a few things. One how to control the body I currently inhabit. Two I've learned where I am, which was in the hidden leaf village or Konoha, one of the five "great" villages in the elemental nations. I say it "great" because this place has been known for not just producing extremely powerful ninja. But also for producing mass perverts. Trust me almost every older male ninja is a pervert in this village.

Thirdly I learned the name of the body I accidentally took over. His name is or rather was Naruto Uzumaki, born on the day that the Kyuubi attacked. But as I said it wasn't Kurama's fault. No there are a few other things, like this body originally had blonde hair. But like the body I use in my inner mind… it to had turned white. This freaked a lot of people out when it happened. Something I wished I could've seen, but I was still talking to Kurama at that time.

Now though this body had lightly tanned skin, some good muscle for its age, and a head of slightly slicked back white hair. It was also about three foot nine in height. It also had blue eyes and six whisker marks, three on each side of his cheeks.

The fourth thing I learned was who the leader of this village was. Hiruzen Sarutobi, one of the few people who didn't hate my guts. The others are my favorite teacher Iruka Umino, and Teuchi and his daughter Ayame Ichiraku. They owned a ramen stand which was actually pretty good. I also must say that Ayame was actually rather cute, but with this being a seven year old body… well I didn't have much of a chance there. Another was Anko Mitarashi a woman who also had it pretty rough in the village. Though it didn't help that she continually freaked most people out.

Now for the most important thing I've learned. You see after easily changing my mindscape (the place I was in originally) into a giant exact replica of Konoha. I then explored a bit further and found out that all my memories were stored into different sections in the library. And since if I focus I can freeze time for a bit in there, I can easily look up any information that I've learned. Me and Kurama also spar and use the village as a testing ground for anything new. This allowed me to increase my spiritual energy, thus making my chakra denser.

Oh yeah… chakra… almost forgot about that. You see in this world people can use an energy called chakra. Now chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. Physical is increased by actually training the body, and spiritual is usually increased with meditation and experience. However me and Kurama as I said bypassed that, by taking out our frustration on the village we created. Trust me it was really fun to destroy the academy with a giant fireball!~

Which is something else chakra can do. You see chakra can help but increasing physical strength and speed. But you can also use it to preform Ninjutsu, Fuinjutsu (my personal favorite…)Genjutsu (My second favorite), and a multitude of other "jutsu". Which is basically this world's word for magic… really that's the closest description that I can give.

Of course in order to perform these "jutsu" one needed to use hand signs and train their chakra. Another thing we bypassed by basically training my chakra control since I was an infant. I also swear it wasn't me who set the Hokage's hat (The title for our village's leader) on fire when I was one years old using a fireball. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly a hater of mine. So yeah chakra is amazing, you can walk on walls, water, teleport, replace the Hokage with a potted plant inside the women's bathhouse… I still wasn't the one who did that honest!

Still that doesn't compare to the infinite awesomeness of my partner! Now Kurama is what one calls a Biju, or a tailed beast. And he's the strongest of them! He is literally a mass of pure infinite chakra. He's also been alive since the beginning of Ninjutsu so he has plenty to share with me. My personal favorites are my own of course!~ You see I'm kind of a genius when it comes to making new jutsu. For example… genjutsu one of my personal favorites. You see it is all about illusions. Now normally it affects only one to three senses of the human body. But I've made some that affects all of them!

As for Ninjutsu and others… well I'll get into those later. But for now…

**[Get you but in gear!] **For now I had to get ready for another day at the academy… So throwing off my blanket I went about trying to get ready. Now my apartment isn't that large. But since I'm only one person and I only really eat and sleep in it I don't complain. I got the apartment after the stupid matron at the orphanage threw me out. Needless to say she was rightly punished and I was given this apartment. Another fact is that I pretty much own the building. Mostly because when I moved in everyone kind of moved out. Not that I care about what they think… or what anybody really thinks for that matter!

Sighing at that thought I got dressed in my clothes. So quickly getting dressed, I put on a white button up shirt then a black vest over it. I then put on black pants and then my black shoes. Originally I was going to wear some orange monstrosity but decided against it. After all even if it was going to make people underestimate me more. I decided that I had too much dignity for such a thing. Which is saying something, since I wore a stupid happy go lucky face wherever I went! Currently the only ones who know it's an act are the above aforementioned people and Kurama.

But back to reality… sitting at my round table I quietly ate a bowl of cereal, along with toast and an egg. Simple yet affordable and filling, it would at least give me the energy needed to get through todays torture. Now normally I'd just send in a Kage bunshun or shadow clone. But today is taijutsu sparing, or hand to hand combat. And a clone would pop into smoke in a single hit. Basically I didn't want to have that conversation with my sensei.

Although taijutsu, is something which I'm not too bad with outside my mask. But with said mask I have to fight sloppy, and sloppy… is something me and Kurama hate. Still my preferred fighting when it comes to melee combat is kenjutsu or swords. I have a very specific style for that, and for long ranges I have a variety of ninja equipment. Such as kunai, shuriken, and senbon or throwing needles. But I usually prefer my hand crossbow. Something I came up with to allow me more accuracy, and power besides throwing the darn things…

Now finished with breakfast I grabbed my school supplies and went to the door. Then taking a deep breath I put on a smile and exited the building.

I then yelled out with all my lungs strength… "Datteboyo! Today's a new day for Uzumaki Naruto!" Oh gosh did I want to just off myself. But… that would be rude to Kurama.

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

_**Four years later**_

I couldn't help but stare at what I've found. They were aliens… they couldn't be anything but…

**[Oh my father… did… did their eyebrows just move?]** I took a breath before speaking to my foxy friend.

'_Yes… indeed they did…'_ Now let's back up to a few minutes after the academy let out. I had decided to go to my regular training grounds in order to work on a very specific jutsu that would become my trump card in a few years. I had started to make my way over to the forest of death… yeah awesome name but yet quite justified. But I kind of grew attached to the place. What with Anko practically living there, that woman had called it her home away from home. I was only a kilometer away when I ran into a couple of aliens…

Now they had bowl cut hair styles, thick caterpillar eyebrows, green skin tight spandex suits, and their headbands signally them from the leaf village around their waists. Now there was a tall one with a flak jacket on and a smaller one, a year older than me without one. The true predicament started when they spotted me.

The adult one spoke first. "Ahh! Isn't this a youthful surprise! If it isn't the youthful Naruto Uzumaki! Now what brings you here this youthful day?!" Both his yelling and catchphrases were getting on me and Kurama's nerves. So much so it quickly broke my mask and my happy go lucky face, turned into one of annoyance with a twitchy eye.

Still I managed to speak cordially. "I'm just on my way to train sir, the academy just got out and I thought to spend my time improving my skills." It was really the wrong thing to say as that got them both to get a fire in their eyes… no really their pupils became fire!

Once again the tall one spoke. "That is truly youthful! My name I Might guy! Konoha's green beast!" He then gave me a thumbs up with a smile that made his teeth flash. It was then that smaller one spoke.

"And I'm Rock Lee! The handsome devil of the leaf!" he then did the same thing as his sensei or teacher.

**[Oh Kami! Can we just kill ourselves! I can't deal with this anymore! I should've just let the fourth kill me!]** Trying to calm him down I spoke.

'_Calm down my friend we just need to find a way out. Maybe our teleportation jutsu will work?' _ Of course while my stratagem was going on the other two kept talking. The last one to speak was Lee.

"Now why don't we join you for your youthful training?!" That snapped me out of my thoughts, and then I said something that haunts me to this day.

"Huh did you say something?" Both froze at my words, but then they started crying as Guy spoke.

"No it cannot be! How could Kakashi's hip cool attitude infect someone he's never met?!" Lee picked up his words after that.

"It's impossible and yet there is no other explanation for his un-youthful words! Guy sensei it is terrible!" Sniffing Guy yelled out his student's name.

"Lee!" Then Lee called out his name.

"Guy sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy sensei!" They then hugged each other in such a way that it burned my eyes. It was a genjustu there was nothing else it could be. They were hugging with a picture of a perfect sunrise behind them. Me and Kurama could only say one thing…

"**[AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!]**" We screamed as we tried to claw out our eyes. I even tried to dispel the illusion but I just couldn't! Which was impossible! With all my training and Kurama I should be immune to all but two genjutsu. And they were both cast by the freaking sharingan! An eyeball capable of controlling Biju like Kurama! Still survival instincts kicked in and I flashed away. And I didn't stop blinking until I was inside the forest safely away from _that!_

You know it's bad if you feel safer in a place called the forest of death than out there with… I don't even want to talk about it!

**[Hermit we must do everything we can to avoid those… creatures from here on out!] **

'_I couldn't agree more!'_ We then both sighed before continuing to talk. _'Alright! Now we've already finished off our experiments with Hyouton or ice release. So let's finally start on that technique that I thought up while watching your Bijudama?' _Kurama seemed to mull over this before coming to a decision.

**[You know… I think it's about time we did that. After all if you're going to stand a chance against my siblings, it will be needed. Now how did your idea go again?] **I couldn't help but grin as I started to explain.

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

_**One year later graduation**_

It was time… it was time to finally get rid of this mask I wear and become a genin, the lowest ranked ninja sure but still a ninja. At least that's what I thought until I thought up an issue…

'_Uh Kurama… how will we know who our teammates will be?'_

**[Uh… just ask Iruka?]** I nodded my head in agreement before looking around the classroom. It was set up in rows, which could fit three people in them. They went all the way into the back and were split into three sections. The classroom itself wasn't too big, but it was able to fit all the students. Now since it was graduation day everyone was excited, except for the ones named Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara, and Shino Aburame. The first was brooding a bit, the second was asleep, and the last… well it was hard to tell what he was thinking with how he was wearing sunglasses.

Now while the other two I had no problems with. In fact I would love to team up with either of them. But Sasuke… he was someone I'd rather avoid. He had black hair in the shape of a ducks but, and had black eyes. He was also kind of pale, and wore a high collared blue shirt with white arm warmers. He also had on white shorts and blue ninja sandals with bandages around his ankles. He actually used to not be this way… until his older brother went psycho, and murdered his entire clan except for Sasuke.

I remember that night very well… seeing how I used that time to steal… I mean borrow a few scrolls from their library. As well as take a few sharingan eyes from them. Now while I didn't plan to implant them into my head. I had wanted to find a way to make myself immune, to the genjutsu the eyes could cast. Unfortunately I wasn't successful. Still now the Uchiha was a giant prick, with an ego the size of the village, and a giant stick up his butt. Shaking my head I turned to the front of the room, which had a desk and a chalkboard behind it. Luckily it was just in time for Umino Iruka my favorite teacher to come in.

Now Iruka was a nice guy in his late twenty's, with brown hair styled to look like a pineapple. He also had a scar right over the bridge of his nose, extending to right under bother his eyes. He was also fairly tan and wore a blue Shinobi outfit with a green flak vest over it. He also wore blue sandals with bandages around his ankles. He also had a mesh suit underneath his clothes. Utilizing the commotion I quickly spoke to him.

"Hey sensei mind telling me how we get our squadmates?" Looking over to me he smiled before speaking.

"Sorry but I can't tell you that, just know that your scores will play a part in it." It was the wrong thing to say to me.

_Oh my kami… we're going to be on Sakura's and Sasuke's team! _Now Sakura the other person I mentioned was a girl with long pink hair, yes that's right… pink hair! No idea how that happened. And she was kind of annoying really, a fan girl of Sasuke's to be precise. She was also the top of our class in the academics portion of things. But was severely lacking in the strength department. Of course Kurama spoke up at that thought.

**[And just how did you come to that conclusion?] **I quickly answered him.

'_Simple really… I have the lowest scores in the class. Albeit purposely, while Sasuke and Sakura have the highest. Though just barely for Sakura since she's mostly brains… well barely that really.'_

**[Oh my father… you're right!]**

'_I know! Really I think I'm the only student in academy history who's actually about to fail on purpose!'_

It was time for the jutsu portion of the test. I actually grinned as I stared at those grading me. It was Iruka and Mizuki; someone's who's always given me a weird feeling. Right now I'm being graded on my ability to perform the three academy jutsu's. They were the Henge, substitution I would say the Japanese name but I'd probably butcher it, and the bunshin jutsu.

That last one was like the Kage bunshin, only they made illusions. Instead of physical clones that gave me their memories when dispelled by a hit. Me and Kurama usually made a few in my mindscape, before making them henge into different people, and then having them scream and run in terror.

As I said it was very therapeutic… but now it was time to enact plan… not get on team pink emo! In other words I purposely messed up all three jutsu's. Instead I henged into dopey looking version of the hokage, fell on my face, and then instead of making at least three reliable copies of myself… instead I made a single dead looking one. Trust me it wasn't pretty…

Seeing that Iruka spoke up. "Sorry but I can't pass you Naruto." Inwardly cheering I was surprised when Mizuki spoke up in my defense. Which ironically caused me to curse him.

"Look Iruka, he may not have done it perfectly but he did make one." Sighing Iruka spoke up.

"Sorry but the other students were able to at least make three clones, henge perfectly, and do a successful kawarimi. Naruto could barely make one clone and it's pitiful, I can't pass him." As I left the room at those words pretending to be upset, none of them noticed my smirking face. Also I thanks to Iruka I could now pronounce the substitution jutsu. So I call it a win/win in my book.

Outside of the academy I ended up on the roof, as I watched the other students get congratulated by their parents. Well except Sasuke who left in a hurry, more than likely to go train. I at least had to give him an A for effort in that regard. Still I wasn't exactly broken up at not having any parents. I mean I technically already grew up with them. Yet here I am in someone else's body thanks to a slightly faulty seal. Really I wasn't reincarnated, more like…

**[Accidental identity theft?]**I couldn't help but chuckle at his joke. It was after all fairly accurate.

I then felt a presence behind me and I turned to find Mizuki.

Being polite I spoke. "Oh hi Mizuki sensei, do you need something?" Smiling at me he spoke.

"Not really I just wanted to see how you're holding up." Shaking my head from side to side I answered.

"Meh I've been better, but I'll be fine. I'm just a little disappointed is all, but I know I'll pass next time Datteboyo!" _No really I really do know that._ Unable to read my thoughts Mizuki scratched his chin before speaking.

"Well I'm not really supposed to say anything… but I do know of a way for you to make genin." Blinking I was inwardly tensing in suspicion but I had to keep up my mask.

"Really?! Then please! Please! Tell me!" Smiling he started speaking.

"Well I'm not really supposed to say… but I'll make an exception this time. You see you have to…"

"Then he told me to steal the scroll of sealing s from you, and learn something from it in order to become a genin. He also told me not to tell anybody about this. I have absolutely no idea why he didn't trust me." Currently I was in the Hokage tower talking to the Hokage. Now he was pretty old with an almost bald head. Really the only hair he had was the pointed triangles coming from the sides of his head, along with his pointy beard. He also had many wrinkles on his face, along with a wart on the side of his nose. He was also wearing his Kage robes. Which consisted of a white haori, over a red long also had a white conical hat with the front middle being colored red. It also had the kanji for fire on it in black.

Currently he was also smoking his pipe as he sat behind his large desk. Which also had tons of paperwork on it… it was kind of a running joke now. It was if the fighting doesn't get you… then the paperwork will. He was actually the third Hokage. With the fourth being Naruto's dad, who no longer was alive. Since he was the one to seal Kurama into Naruto, and also messed up the seal a bit thanks to Kurama. You see the giant fox didn't like the idea of being sealed again. So he may have stabbed both him and his wife with his claws trying to get to Naruto. Yeah that kind of messed up the sealing process.

Back to the present! Right now the old man was thinking on how to use my information against Mizuki. He then looked at me and gave me a sly smile. I couldn't help but gulp knowing that this wasn't going to be fun for me…

_**How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

The lights went back on and I made the scene go back to normal. Looking at all of you I shook my head.

"And there you have it. Well at least most of it, other details includes me practicing Fuinjutsu, and using gravity and resistance seals to increase my physical abilities. I also didn't talk about my swords, but that's for later. There were also the experiments I did with elemental chakra. That was fun since I combined tons of things and then settled for boiling water and ice."

**[You also didn't talk about taking the scroll of sealing as bait, and then using the opportunity to look through the scroll so you could learn those techniques later.]** I palmed my left hand before speaking in realization.

"You're right! I also didn't say anything about Iruka showing up believing the false alarm, only to be attacked by Mizuki. Who is now doing a monologue. Which is the worst! But I suppose we can get back to what's actually happening now."

**[Yeah let's get back to it.]** Then snapping my fingers everything went back to normal and I was in my original position. With Kurama nowhere in sight. Looking up at Mizuki I sighed before rolling up one of my sleeves slightly. This revealed a tattoo of sorts; this was a seal I made using fuinjutsu.

I then pushed a little chakra into it, then with a puff of smoke a small crossbow appeared in my hand. It was black and already had a dart loaded into it. Though because I timed it when Mizuki had his eyes closed, and laughing manically he didn't notice. However the wounded Iruka did, but didn't say anything. Taking a small breath I aimed at him and fired.

Still laughing he only noticed when the dart was in his neck. Yelling out in pain he used his left hand to pull it out. He looked at it curiously before he began to sway. It was then that I started talking.

"You know you should really pay more attention. If you had then maybe I wouldn't have been able to hit you with one of my sleeping darts. So one last thing before you go to bed. I already knew about the Kyuubi this whole time." His eyes widened as he went to his knees but I wasn't done. "Yeah… so basically everything you said has no merit to me. Plus… I failed the exam on purpose; I just didn't want to be on a certain team. Still thank you for exposing yourself you moron."

He was about to yell at me, probably to curse me. But then his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell forward off the branch he was on. I didn't bother checking on him as I turned to Iruka.

"Well that was a thing and a half. Though I must say that I'm glad that the Hokage gave me this mission. It was entertaining." Looking at me he shook his head before speaking.

"You must be the only student in the history of the academy, who failed on purpose. Though I should've expected it really, I mean I knew you could do those jutsu's. Still close your eyes I have something for you." Looking at him strangely I eventually did what he asked. I then felt some movement and then something get tied around my head. "Alright you can open them." Doing so I noticed that Iruka's headband was off and now on me. I could only blink before he spoke again.

"Congratulations you graduate. I also expect you show up for team placements, consider it a punishment for failing on purpose." Again I blinked before yelling.

"NOOOOOO!"

_**Introductory end… Lessons to take form this… with Kurama and Hermit**_

_Location academy_

You see a smaller Kurama and a smiling Hermit standing side by side in the academy classroom.

Hermit than clears his throat and speaks. "Well that was interesting… now let's start with the lessons learned. Kurama?"

He smiled before speaking. **[Lesson one accept your lot in life... but also use it to your advantage.]** Hermit nods sagely before speaking.

"True words… I mean we accepted that we are trapped in a body with no way out. Plus we accepted that mostly everyone hated me. But we quickly turned that around. Now everyone will underestimate me." Kurama nods before speaking again.

**[Which brings us to lesson two, be discreet… I mean what's the point of being amazing if your opponent knows everything about you, and then prepares to counter everything you can do?]**

"Again wise words, now lesson three don't be an idiot… You're a ninja, learn your limits and don't underestimate you opponent."

**[This went in two different ways. One where we ran away from the spandex duo and the other was when Mizuki clearly underestimated us. Which leads to lesson number four…]**

"Don't monologue! Don't talk about your skills, don't brag about your plan, don't announce your techniques. Just kill the enemy in front of you. You're a ninja for heaven's sake! Act like it instead a bloody super hero or villain!" Nodding his head Kurama agrees.

**[Yeah but now for lesson number five. Don't be too afraid to experiment. Having a blood line only gives you an advantage when it comes to elemental chakra. If you really want to… just go ahead and mix earth, water, lightning, fire, and wind and see what happens.] **Hermit rubs the back of his head at Kurama's words before speaking.

"I wouldn't recommend it though… I mean without Kurama's ultra-healing ability I probably would've died in that attempt. Still if you can't do elemental try altering or creating different non-elemental jutsu's. Who knows? You might just become the next second Hokage. A man known for making tons of Jutsu."

**[So true… still that's everything for today. Make sure to review these lessons and learn from them. As for now…]**

"**[Good bye!]**"]

**Slayer: Well introductory chapter is done… once again that is.**

**Shadow: It was definitely fun though. Added a couple more things and improved some dialogue. **

**Hermit: Hopefully people will enjoy this a bit more now. But I digress I am just doing my job.**

**Shadow: In the end it all about making fun of the world of Naruto in general.**

**Slayer: Yep! Basically the whole premise of the story. But enough about that! Let's wrap things up shall we?**

**Hermit: Okay… well this has been a Dark Guard production now signing off!**

**Everyone: Goodbye!**


End file.
